When is a time you had to face something unexpected and hard? What gets you through tough times?
There’s a song by The Tragically Hip that the mystic DJ plays for me every so often. It has a line that goes, “Courage, it couldn’t come at a worse time.”
Really, who doesn’t need more courage? It takes courage to get out of bed in the morning, to face the hard stuff, the heartbreak, the unexpected you can’t control, the news, the To Do list, To Be your true self, and so much more (including the holidays). By courage I mean strength of heart.
Originally meant to celebrate my new book Eleven Brave Pinecones and the idea of being brave, I thought it’d be fun to try crowdsourcing some courage.
But after a devastating death in the family of dear friends, I’m reconsidering even more where courage comes from for the hardest of times. What can soften and strengthen our hearts to let in more love and light? I’m seeing how much comes from community encouragement. So I’m asking:
Can we crowdsource courage?
How do you count on your courage?
What would you add to this list? Can you think of 11 things for each one? I invite you to comment below, or make notes for yourself if you wish, or with your family.
Fill in the blank: It takes courage to _____.
Quotes that give you courage.
Songs that instill courage.
Words that evoke courage.
Books that give you courage.
Children’s books in particular.
People you’d call exemplars of courage.
Activities that fortify your courage.
Poem that gives you courage.
Acts of courage you’ve witnessed.
A time you acted with courage.
These lists aren’t just to “feel better” although that’s good if it works. Perhaps these things can prompt reflection about what fortifies our hearts for hard times.
Is it in the sharing itself, the act of encouragement, when courage arises? A researcher I interviewed told me that it doesn’t matter if we don’t see ourselves as having acted with courage. She said, “Courage exists in the spaces between us.” That’s worth repeating and imagining.
Just to be clear, there’s at least five kinds of courage, probably lots more: PHYSICAL courage like facing illness or pain, MORAL courage of standing up and speaking truth to power, SOCIAL courage to risk connecting authentically, CREATIVE courage to create not only art but create community, new life, artful living, and COLLECTIVE courage to do hard things for the greater good whether we benefit ourselves or not.
We often go to our corners when life stresses us out—the default reactions of fight, flight/flee, freeze and flock—those are times we need courage. But we can always choose to respond instead with another F word, and that’s FORTIFY, from the ancient word fortitudo. That’s why I’m asking what can fortify our hearts with more courage?
So to jumpstart the conversation, here’s my poem “It Takes Courage” that opens The Courage Way book. I was in the midst of writing The Courage Way back in 2015 when the story of Eleven Brave Pinecones arose. Both pieces came out of the creative urge to explore what courage means beyond the hype, cliches and first thoughts.
How to Do Hard, Especially During Holidays
Personally, I’ve found the holidays to be a trying time at different points in my life. For many people, December can be the opposite of happiness and joy. Back in 1998 when my family was freshly facing my then-husband’s brain cancer treatment, one of his cousins sent this beautiful hand-drawn list of “How to Do Hard”, which she recopied after having received it herself from a friend. I dug it out of my “must keep” box today, paying it forward. To me, it speaks to how to find courage:
Please join in me in this experiment to crowdsource some courage. I’d love to hear your ideas. Follow me over on Instagram or Facebook if you’d like to ponder one at a time in the coming weeks. Let’s see what we come up with!
Thank you!
— Shelly
Dear Shelly beautiful and needed, thank you. What if we each had a “courage mantra” which we reminded ourselves of each morning and evening as a ritual! What if we shared this ritual with our families and loved ones regularly too! Would there be less loneliness? Would there be more collective courage?