What’s the best question you ever received, one that shifted your way of thinking because you kept thinking about it, long after that first talk?
Good questions—open, honest questions whose answers you can’t possibly predict—are one of the keys to creating more trust (in self, others, and life overall), and that kind of trust can lead to more courage. Good questions can also lead to well-being, joy, and resilience. Or to systems change. Or to new conversations, real talk at a soul-deep level.
This month marks the birthdays of two books that jumpstarted Creative Courage Press, and both books start with such questions.
Who am I? Where do I belong? How do I heal as I strive to serve?
Thus begins Resilient Threads: Weaving Joy and Meaning into Well-Being by Dr. Mukta Panda. Resilient Threads turned three years old, coinciding with National Women’s Physician’s Day on February 3rd. (See Mukta’s recent Substack post on defining a legacy.) Ironically, this memoir launched at the same time as COVID-19, when many of its readers were busy saving lives. Resilient Threads is full of good questions and stories that prompt readers of any profession to explore their own purpose, meaning, and well-being, and to keep their hearts open in the face of burnout and broken systems that need to change.
The Courage Way, which I wrote for the Center for Courage & Renewal (Berrett-Koehler, 2018) came from interviews with more than 120 leaders equipped by practices of the Circle of Trust approach. It begins with:
What in your life resonates right now with the idea of courage and living a life of integrity? … What would you do with more courage?
Writing/authoring a book is an honor and opportunity to create something that takes on a life of its own. Mothering, baking, and gardening metaphors spring to mind, but we are all creators authoring our own lives, planting seeds of possibility that need tending. Books are an offering of heart-head-hands that seem to come through us and out into the world on open palms as a gift. And somehow books grow us and grow with us.
So, how do you measure your soul growth?
How do we count growth besides candles on cakes? Bigger shoes? More tree rings? Tape measures on door jams with a pencil. marking new heights? Books might measure copies sold, pages read, page corners turned down, sentences highlighted, quotes shared, and even translations (for The Courage Way, that’s in Thailand and China!).
How do we measure what matters in our own lives? Why does it matter to mark milestones? Because it’s a joy to reflect on and celebrate special moments. To stop and affirm is simply fun! Hurrah, huzzah, and hurray—instead of hurrying.
Because books have a life of their own, they seem to me a lot like kids who need a village to raise them, to introduce them to readers and supporters, to invite them to mentor us with their innate wisdom, and to welcome them into conversations.
This year I’m feeling especially grateful for reaching the five-year birthday of The Courage Way because it reminds me of the great conversations that led to identifying five key ingredients to courage: three ideas and two key practices. I like to call them “the Courage Quintessentials,” concepts boiled down to their essence that you can count on one hand (to mix some metaphors). How these quintessentials show up makes for an interesting conversation…with your Self and with others.
Recent finger-tap exercises from my PT mimicked the way I like to count on my courage. Try this:
Label your index finger “True Self” and hold up that number-one finger to remember that first and foremost, courage comes from getting to know your authentic, innermost self (who some people call soul, higher self, psyche, inner teacher, or inner author/artist). How well do you know Thyself? How are you connecting soul to role?
Label your next finger “Trust” and note how it leans toward the True Self finger. Notice that if you’re only holding up that one, there might not be much trust in the room. Who, what and when do you trust, or not?
Label your ring finger “Community” and you now see the magic-three key ideas. Who are the people you can count on to have your back? Who can call you on your stuff, gently, and prompt you with good questions to help you hear your own inner wisdom or worries?
The pinky is the smallest finger but carries the profound practice of Paradox, that sense of two things (at least) that seem like opposites but are actually equally true truths of being human, like life & death, love & loss, grief & gratitude, inner & outer, shadow & light—that means both/and, baby, not either/or. To make a daily practice of noticing and honoring paradox is to fortify your heart by holding the tension of opposites with more understanding.
Let your amazing opposable thumb represent the practice of Reflection, and then touch each of your fingers, one at a time. For each move, reflect on how you’re doing with True Self, Trust, Community, and practicing Paradox.
How do you count on your courage? What gives you strength of heart (aka, courage) on the hardest of days? Try this one day when you’re counting your blessings, or counting on courage.
Forthcoming Voices Speak to Courage of All Kinds
Three new books are coming in 2023 from these remarkable authors and Creative Courage Press. I can hardly wait to share the covers, being designed as we speak! I love how the Courage Quintessentials show up in their books too, but I’m not surprised—I am aiming to publish books that give voice to courage of all kinds, like describing the wholeness of an elephant from all angles.
Side by Side: The Sacred Art of Couples Aging with Wisdom & Love by Caryl and Jay Casbon.
Leaving a Charmed Life: A True Story of Choosing Authentic Happiness by Kadian R. Grant.
Caring for Self & Others: Transforming Burnout, Compassion Fatigue and Soul Loss by David R. Kopacz MD.
You are invited to become part of the village that celebrates their books’ arrivals! Stay tuned for more details as the year unfolds.
Happy belated birthday to your and Mukta's books!
"What is the best question....?"
Oh, there are so many!! Asking questions that shift my way of thinking (and feeling, and believing etc.) are my speciality.
And how do you measure inner growth?
I have watched it unfold in so many ways over the years... I assume you have too...
But how do you count on courage?!
Now there's a question I haven't thought about. ~ I love your finger count 🩵 ❤️ 🧡
This is so fun, revisiting old posts with you as a new reader, Veronika. I haven’t been able to write/type for 7 weeks (and other excuses for long pauses between blogs), but re-reading them is helping me hear my writing voice and putting tidbits together of my own continuity. I love that you are a wizard and connoisseur of asking questions!! I just committed to publishing a next book that will have all sorts of heart-opening questions!!! :). And I’m preparing for a virtual presentation to early childhood educators in Singapore about “how to count on your courage.” Thanks for YOUR encouragement!! 🙌💕😊